New Pipeline Twin Promises Economic Growth For BC

Kindred Morose, Inc. is very pleased to announce the completion of the new twin to the existing Trans Okanagan Pipeline from Osoyoos, BC to Calgary, AB.
“Previously, we had to batch ship the reds and white separately; reds at the beginning of the week and whites at the end, said Ann Inderson, President of Kindred Morose Canada Limited. “This resulted in a very nice little rose on Wednesday about noon, which is trendy now, but Calgary is a sophisticated market and looking for world class varietals.”
The new twin to the existing 728 kilometre pipeline will allow shipment of red and whites separately.  Vintages will be batch shipped individually and the usual “Friday Blend” will be offered at a substantial discount.
Despite initial resistant by protest groups along the route, construction and start-up went smoothly.  “We were fully expecting pushback from the usual groups regarding possible spills,” stated Inderson.  “So far, we have only had five or six leaks and the locals just show up with buckets.”
A project of this scope, carrying 2.1 billion litres of wine per day, requires massive amounts of electricity to power the pumping stations.  Fortunately, the new Anarchist Mountain Nuclear Power Plant was finished in time and supplies more than enough electricity to supply both pipelines.  The project would not have been possible if Kindred Morose had to buy power at exorbitant rates from FortisBC or wait for the NDP government to complete Site C.
Members of the Okanagan Wine Growers Association are ecstatic with the project.  A recent BC wine embargo by the Alberta NDP government temporarily hurt sales to the province but the resulting publicity raised awareness of the quality of BC wines and demand has skyrocketed.  “This new pipeline is a dream come true,” exclaimed Ted Mourvedre, President of OWGA.  While the current Calgary terminal provides bulk distribution, future plans call for “micro-pipelines” to subscribers’ homes and restaurants.
Premier John Horgan was skeptical of the project and is taking a wait and see approach.  “We will monitor how it goes, but if those godless heathens to the east start pumping Big Rock beer in this direction, there is going to be trouble,” stated Horgan.
Green Party Leader Andrew Weaver was unavailable for comment on the project.  Party spokesperson, Amanda Hairinabun-Birkenstock, stated that Mr. Weaver had received a complimentary case of Merlot and was “busy in the cellar.”
Pipeline 2

The twinned Trans Okanagan Wine Pipeline is currently visible in spots as it runs east of Osoyoos on Anarchist Mountain. It is expected to be fully covered later this spring.

Pipeline 1

BC Wines are uploaded for delivery along the pipeline at a facility located between Osoyoos and Oliver.

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5 Responses to New Pipeline Twin Promises Economic Growth For BC

  1. Pam Custer says:

    I actually believed this story until I realized what the date today is. Good one!!!
    Pam C on Mule Deer Drive

  2. Silvia Albrecht says:

    Excellent Idea!

  3. Silvia Albrecht says:

    I forgot to say , that we donate part of our property for uploading.

  4. ramona medwayosh says:

    omg too funny!

  5. Jean Ross says:

    Brilliant!!!
    Sharing this with friends and family, near and far.
    Thanks for the fun read….you’re clever AND funny…perfect combination!

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